Between Two Realities
by VenusAmorette
Summary: Mini-spinoff of my Zombies story, "Between Dream and Reality"... which you should read if you haven't! What if Dr. Richtofen and Kathleen switched roles? As in, what if -he- spontaneously transported to -her- reality? Richtofen, OC, naughty humor/teasing based on character development in the other fic. Go read it & see what you've missed! There's plenty of the Doctor to go around!
1. This is Ridiculous

**Author's Note: **This is a little something I randomly imagined as I fell asleep last night.

What if Richtofen and Kathleen switched roles? As in, what if _he _spontaneously transported to _her_ time?

Just a goofy, short spinoff of my story **Between Dream and Reality**! (Which you should read if you haven't!)

It's super fun to write, so I hope it's just as much fun to read! This'll probably be like three chapters total, for reference.

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**For reference of Kitty and Richtofen's current opinions of each other, the "transportation" would take place around Chapters 15/16 of BDaR, during the blizzard... aka the chapters I've recently finished writing. XD**

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**Between Two Realities**  
A "Between Dream and Reality" Spinoff

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CHAPTER ONE

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**das ist lächerlich  
**"This is Ridiculous"

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My head was throbbing.

I opened my eyes, blinking at the sudden change of light, frowning at the fresh-smelling air.

Was I … _home_?

I looked around, frantic. There was the old familiar rug beneath my fingers, the glass top table with random knick knacks and candles. The cluttered bookcase. The antique desk with my mom's laptop and printer. And my beautiful, broken Xbox in the corner.

_I was home._

Then someone groaned beside me.

My heart fell. I twisted around, staring at my worst nightmare.

Doctor Richtofen. In my house.

"_Scheiße_," he hissed, pressing fingertips against his temple. He propped himself up on his left arm, blinking. His eyes widened as he looked around the room, glinting with outrage. "Vhat is zhis?" he snarled.

"Shit, shit, shit," I was muttering, frowning so hard my face hurt.

He turned to face me, looking perplexed. His voice cracked. "_Kazhleen?_"

Oh god. What do I do? There's a fucking _Nazi_ in my living room, I'm covered in zombie shit, and I don't even know what day it is. I scrambled to my feet, running out into the foyer.

"Vhere are you going?" he yelled.

"Be quiet!" I hissed. I stumbled into the kitchen, looking around every corner. "Mom?" I yelled, my voice hoarse. "Mom?"

No answer.

I ran back to the foyer, tripping over the carpet next to the staircase. "Mom?" I yelled again.

Still no answer.

Richtofen limped out to find me, his face crumpled with anger. "Is zhis your _home_?" he hissed.

I turned to face him, so pissed that I didn't care who he was. "You need to _shut up_," I snapped. "This is really, really bad."

He narrowed his eyes, straightening up to his full height. "Vhy?" he asked suspiciously.

"Because you…" I stared at the armband on his left sleeve, panicked. I closed my eyes. "It's really _not _okay for you to be wearing that in here."

He frowned, glancing down at his arm. "_Meine Hakenkreuz?_"

"Yeah. The swastika. It's …" I shook my head, frustrated.

"Vhat?"

"You can't wear those anymore," I snapped.

Richtofen raised his eyebrows. "Interesting," he murmured.

"Yeah, super interesting," I muttered, biting my lip. "Now take it off."

He grinned cruelly. "Youare ordering _me_ around now?" he asked, his voice threatening.

I glared at him. "Yeah. I am." His eyes widened in shock as I lunged forward and grabbed his hand, dragging him towards the stairs. "Now come with me."

"You vill regret zhis," he hissed, tripping up the stairs behind me.

What the hell was I supposed to do with him? I had no idea where my parents were, or when they'd come back. I'd been gone for days, in a zombie-infested hellhole, and I had no way of knowing how they'd react when they saw me. Sometimes they barely tolerated me under their roof… yet whenever I was out too late, they panicked. And now I had a mad scientist on my hands. A mad scientist from night-of-the-living-Nazi Germany.

"You have to listen to me," I said, dragging him down the upstairs hall. I shoved him through the door to my room, locking it behind us. "My parents are out right now, but when they get back, this is going to get nasty. I have no idea how long I've been gone, and I've brought a strange man back to the house."

"Und vhy is zhis a problem?" he asked, frowning.

"Because it just _is_," I hissed. "That's the way things work here. My parents are in charge, and I have no idea how I'm going to explain this."

We stared at each other. He looked out of place, way too big for my room. The bloodstained military clothing, the MP40 dangling off of his belt; the anger, fiery in his eyes. I let out a sharp breath.

"You have to take off these clothes," I said, my voice tense.

His eyes narrowed. "You bring me to zhis bedroom to undress me?"

I grit my teeth. "You're bloody and disgusting. If I can't explain you in general, it's gonna be a lot worse when you walk in looking like a mass murderer."

He scoffed. "In many vays, I _am_ a mass murderer."

"I know!" I barked. "That's the worst part!" My stomach twisted with anxiety. "Take all that shit off. The gun and everything. I need to hide it somewhere."

"I am _not_ removing my MP40."

"You _have_ to, or you'll get arrested," I grumbled. "Take it off."

Richtofen stared at me, livid. "Arrested?" he snapped.

"Yes! And if you try to kill someone, you'll get shot. Now take the fucking belt and jacket off!"

He pressed his lips together, slowly unbuckling his belt. He placed it on the ground, and began to unbutton his jacket. "Shouldn't _you_ change clozhing as vell?" he hissed, glaring at me.

I looked down at myself. Blood-covered German winter coat, the ray gun still bulging in my pocket. I ripped it off of my shoulders, balling it up in my arms. "Shit," I mumbled to myself, falling to my knees and stuffing it under my bed. I couldn't even comprehend what was happening. Now I was in the bloodstained costume jacket, which I unbuttoned and shoved under the bed, too.

"Your dress is shtained as vell," Richtofen murmured spitefully.

I jerked around to glare at him. "Thanks for the information," I snapped back.

He grinned.

Now he was wearing his high-collared white undershirt, which was also dotted with bloodstains. I shook my head, running my hands through my hair. "This is so fucked up," I groaned. "I thought I'd be happy to get back home, and … now _you're_ here."

"I am not pleased vith zhis situation eizher," he snapped. "Und I shtill do not understand vhy ve must undress."

"People don't just walk around in blood-drenched clothes!" I hissed. "And besides, do you really want everyone in my reality finding out that you're a real person? What kind of chaos would that create?"

His eyes glimmered with pleasure at the thought, but he closed them and raised his eyebrows. "I suppose your logic is sound," he muttered. "Exposing ze general public to ze existence of ozher realities _vould _cause mass confusion…"

"Exactly," I snapped. I stalked over to my closet, throwing open the doors. My clothes. I sighed. I never thought I'd be so happy to see my own clothes. I pulled out a fluffy, high-necked sweater and some jeans.

"Vhat are you doing now?" Richtofen asked, his voice sharp.

Clothes in my arms, I walked across the room to my dresser, opening a drawer. "I'm getting clothes to change into," muttered. "I can't wear these anymore." I snatched up a pair of underwear and a bra, shutting the drawer.

"Vhat am _I_ going to vear?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea," I groaned. I threw the small pile of clean clothes onto my bed, reaching down to grab the bottom of my skirt. I glanced over at the doctor, who was watching me with shrewd, narrow eyes. I sighed. "Don't say _anything_," I snapped. Then I pulled the dress up over my head.

Holy crap. I smelled like shit. Literal shit. I threw the dress to the floor, disgusted. My heart was pounding.

"I've gotta go take a shower," I said to myself. Then I closed my eyes. "Stay here," I said loudly. I looked at Richtofen with a pointed glare, grabbing the pile of clothes. He was staring at me with a mixture of hatred and fascination.

I walked fast through the hall, barreling into the bathroom. I piled the clean clothes onto the sink. Then I tore the rest of my clothes off of my body, throwing them into the trash. Jumping into the shower immediately, I turned the water on, not even waiting for it to warm up. I lathered my hair and my body in a rush, trying to be as thorough as possible. Then I rinsed and jumped out, toweling off. I pulled on my fresh clothes quickly, buttoning my jeans as I walked back into my room.

Richtofen was still standing in the middle of the floor, stiff and silent. It was shocking to see him there.

"Zhis new clozhing is interesting," he murmured, looking me over. "Ze trousers are so … snug."

"Come on," I muttered, grabbing his hand. I dragged him through the hall to my parents' room. My heart thudded against my ribs. "Wait there," I said, pushing him against their dresser. He stood there, looking torn between amusement and frustration.

I ran into my parents' walk-in closet. Sweaters and workout clothes were all folded in one corner. I dug through them, pulling out the biggest pair of my dad's sweatpants I could find. Then I ran back out, heading for the dresser. Richtofen watched as I pulled open all the drawers. Finally, I found my dad's T-shirts and boxers. I stole one of each, piling them on top of the sweatpants and shutting the drawer behind me.

"Come on," I said again, grabbing the doctor and pulling him back out into the hall.

"Zhis is making me extremely angry," he snarled in a low voice.

"Too bad," I snapped. I shoved him into the bathroom, and he stared at me in shock.

"Vhat is the purpose of _zhis_?" he cried, shrill.

"Get in the shower and bathe," I commanded. "You smell like an animal."

He inhaled sharply. If looks could kill, I would've been stabbed through the throat. Twelve times. He turned slowly, and I closed the door behind him.

I stood outside, waiting. I listened as the water turned on. He didn't make a sound. After a few minutes of rushing water, the shower shut off, and I heard bare feet moving around on the tile. Finally, the door opened.

There was Doctor Edward Richtofen, standing in my bathroom, wrapped in a towel.

What the hell was my life?

"Get your clothes," I said, avoiding his eyes and trying very hard _not _to look at his mostly bare body.

He chuckled. "You vill shamelessly display your brassiere, but my implied nudity disturbs you?"

"Get your clothes!" I snapped. "I have to do something with them… Maybe wash them or something." I frowned. How exactly _did _you wash a German general's uniform from 1945?

He turned around and padded back toward the shower, collecting his garments from the floor. Of course, they were all neatly folded. Blood-covered, shit-smelling, but neatly folded. His visor sat on top. He held the pile out to me. I accepted it with a reluctant groan, holding it in the arm without the clean clothes. "God this is so weird," I grumbled.

"I imagine ze feeling is mutual," Richtofen muttered. I noticed he was holding his boots.

"Come back into my room," I said, starting toward my door.

"Ah," he cried. "So ze bedroom _is _yours. I vill have to examine it more closely."

My heart fell. "Don't you dare," I hissed, stepping through the doorframe.

"I believe you cannot shtop me," he murmured, his voice gleeful and cruel.

I pulled him inside, throwing his nasty uniform on the floor and slamming the door shut. Then I thrust my dad's stolen clothing into his arms. "Put these on," I said. "The little shorts are underwear."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I know vhat _briefs_ are," he snapped. He folded the sweatpants and the shirt and placed them on the floor. "_Unterhose_ appears to have changed very little in zhis reality," he mused, turning the boxer briefs around in his hands. He stretched the elastic waist, examined the front pocket.

Then he unceremoniously dropped his towel to the floor.

I gasped, twisting around. "_Shit_," I hissed. That was close.

I could almost hear him smiling behind me. "Zhis aversion you have to nudity is … interesting," he murmured. I could hear him lift a foot from the carpet to slip his leg through the briefs.

"_Most_ people have an aversion to nudity!" I snapped.

"Not me," he mused.

I clenched my teeth. "You're a _doctor_."

He chuckled. "Und you are _prudish_."

I had to turn around and glare at him. Thank god he had the briefs on.

He raised his eyebrows, staring at me with amusement. Grinning spitefully, he shifted the waistband around his narrow, bony hips, tugging on the bottom of the briefs. I set my jaw, staring above his head as he obviously _rearranged _some things. "Zhis makes you _so_ uneasy," he laughed. I closed my eyes, and he laughed some more.

"There's a grown man from another plane of _existence_ standing in the middle of my room in boxer briefs," I muttered. "And the man happens to be _you_." I glared at him again. "Of course I'm uncomfortable."

His mouth quirked to one side. "Zhis is _so_ amusing."

I groaned, leaning against my bedstead. "I'm glad someone's having fun," I grumbled.

He grinned wolfishly, bending over to fetch the sweatpants, and fear shivered down my spine. He was mostly naked and I _still_ found him terrifying. Only he could somehow make underwear seem threatening.

As he unfolded and examined the pants, I furtively looked him over. I was trying to find some kind of physical vulnerability, but it seemed like he didn't have one. Wiry muscles flexed underneath every inch of his skin. He seemed even taller unclothed, which was ridiculous, and he was so _obviously_ German. Blonde hair, broad chest, wide shoulders, strong arms: The man was the picture of the Aryan ideal. Aside from all the scars and bruises.

"Finished vith your examination?" he muttered, pulling the T-shirt over his head.

I blushed, frowning. "How do you see _everything?"_

"I'm observant," he said. He looked down at himself, now fully dressed. The sweatpants almost fit him, a little too short at the ankles. The shirt was huge, so it wasn't a problem. He wiggled his bare toes against the carpet. "Zhis texture is interesting," he murmured.

I ran a hand through my wet hair, thinking. We were clean. We were dressed. There was a pile of pungent clothing on my floor, weapons stashed under my bed. A mad scientist from another reality stood beside me, wearing the world's frumpiest clothing. It was about as good as it was gonna get.

But how did I explain all of this?

I turned to look at Richtofen, who was rubbing his feet against the carpet now, enraptured. Locks of wet hair fell across his forehead as he bent over, examining the threads.

"Doctor," I muttered.

He looked up fast, his eyes tense. "Vhat?" he snapped.

"You're my professor."

His eyebrows bunched together. "… Vhat?"

I bit my lip, thinking. "I'm … I'm gonna say you're my new professor. For … a German class I decided to take. For some reason." I groaned, my face crumpling. If I couldn't even convince myself, how was I ever going to convince my parents?

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Vearing zhis?" he asked, incredulous.

I felt my forehead wrinkle as I stared at him. "… Damn it," I groaned.

"You are ze_ vorst_ liar I have ever met," he grumbled. "Und I've met a few."

I pressed the heel of my palm against my face, thinking. "Maybe… you were at the gym? Working out?" I shook my head. "I don't know. This is all so ridiculous. I'm never going to get away with it. We should've just left you in the bloody uniform," I mumbled. I closed my eyes, giving up.

The air shifted as Richtofen sat down on the floor. I opened my eyes to see him looking up at me, resigned.

"I vill do ze zhinking," he sighed, sounding bored. "Give me silence." Then he closed his eyes.

I watched him think for an interminable amount of time. It was incredibly dull. I yawned, leaning back against my bed. Crawled onto the bedspread, cuddling a pillow. Smelled the delightful smell of my own blankets. Rolled around happily on the comforter, distracted by the fact that I was on a real bed. A real, fucking bed. My bed.

Finally, he opened his eyes.

"I am an immigrant," he murmured.

I crawled to the edge of the bed, peering over at him. "An immigrant?"

"I've recently traveled here from Deutschland, und I've suffered severe culture shock." He looked up at me, his green eyes sinister. Plotting. "You discovered me wandering ze streets in confusion, und decided to make me your … project." He grinned. It was anything but comforting. "Ja. Zhis is believable, und supported by ze fact zhat you are extremely strange. Und unpredictable."

I glared at him. "Look who's talking," I grumbled.

That's when the front door opened, and I heard their voices.

_"Kathleen?" _

It was my mom. Then, my dad.

_"Kathy, you home?"_

I closed my eyes.

Here goes.

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**Hehehehehe...**

I think I'm probably more amused by this than anyone else is gonna be ... ... herp derp.

BUT, you should tell me what you think! Because it would make me smile and bounce around in happiness. c:

**Ze Doctor Says: "Vhat is zhis strange place? ... It schmells so ... _clean_ ... ... Vhat do YOU zhink?!"**

**Reviews bring him JOY!**


	2. Still Ridiculous

**HERP DERP.**

Continuing this story is really amusing to me, because now my other story has changed a lot ... so this is essentially another reality of another reality ... of another reality ... ?

... lol.

ANYWAY, I hope this amuses you as much as it does me.

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**WickedIntentions:** YESSSSS. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO. Oh my gosh, when I first thought of this, I was like "OLOLOL," and I only hoped that others would feel the same way. SO YESSSSS. XD ... and as fair as a pairing; I doubt this is going to be romantic at all, just silly and weird and making ze doctor uncomfortable by putting him out of his element. Because come on, who doesn't want to make him uncomfortable? X3

**M3D1C101:** Ja ... JA ...!

**DancingInTheSand:** He's just a MEAN FACE. Because he is. And we love him for it. :P And I believe she would have preferred Dempshey ... He could've fit in MUCH better ... c; ... She could probably sell the ray gun on Ebay for a KILLING ...

**What:** Don't worry, my dear anon. I don't see Richtofen as a pedophile at all. Creepy? Of course. Even Nolan North says that the way he gets into the Doctor's character is by thinking of: "Every dirty thought. Everything that would send you to prison, and make nuns and children run." So, that's how I portray him.

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**Between Two Realities**  
A "Between Dream and Reality" Spinoff

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CHAPTER TWO

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**noch lächerlicher  
**"Still Ridiculous"

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"Hey, Mom!" I said, too brightly, stepping out to the top of the staircase.

She was down by the front door, looking up at me. "Hey honey," she said. "Are you finally done playing that game? I thought you said you were bored of it." She sighed. "I don't understand why you want to shoot those things anyway. Don't you have something better to do with your time?"

_Had time even passed here?_

"Um, yeah… My Xbox broke," I muttered, glancing quickly at my closed door. Maybe I could completely avoid exposing my unexpected guest from the game in question. "I can't play it anymore at all, actually."

"Good," sighed my mom. "Maybe you can finally get something productive done."

I twiddled my hands. "What are you guys up to today?" I asked, trying to sound casual and failing miserably.

My mom's eyebrow quirked. "Nothing," she said, picking up on my weirdness. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing," I said, too quickly. "Just … maybe hanging out with friends or something."

"Oh," she said, thoughtful. "Who? Josh?"

She hated Josh. It would explain why I was acting weird, so I jumped on it. "Maybe," I muttered, acting ashamed. "He invited me out with some friends, I don't know."

She sighed. "I don't like him," she murmured. Understatement of the century. "But it's your life, your choices."

"Kathy!" bellowed my dad, peeking up at me from the side of the staircase. "If you don't go out with your friends, you wanna go to the gym?"

I bit my lip. "Maybe," I lied. "I just have to take care of some stuff here first…"

"Okay," said my dad, disappearing into the kitchen. "Just let me know."

"And let me know if you end up going out with Josh," my mom added, shooting me a knowing glance.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, mom," I murmured. "I'm going back into my room."

She nodded, vanishing somewhere downstairs.

Heart pounding, I opened the door to my room.

The doctor was sitting on my bed, amused.

"How do zhey believe you?" he asked derisively. "Zhat vas extremely unconvincing."

I clenched my teeth together. "Please, just … stop," I hissed. "And keep your voice down. I'm going to see if I can just sneak you out of here or something."

"Und vhere vould I go?"

"I don't know," I snapped. "I just need to get you out of here so I can go pretend to _find _you."

"It vould have been much simpler to mention my presence a moment ago," he muttered.

"Yeah, and I could go ahead and take my head off with the ray gun while I'm at it," I grumbled.

His eyes flashed. "Zhat vould be interesting."

I frowned at him. "You _cannot_ talk like that anymore."

"I vill talk however I please," he hissed. "Shtop issuing commands."

"If you say that to someone on the street, they'll call the police," I snapped.

"_Kathleen?" _It was my mom, downstairs. _"Are you talking to someone?"_

"No, Mom," I yelled. Richtofen winced away from my voice. "I'm watching a show on the internet."

"_Could you turn down the volume or something? I can hear all this mumbling down here."_

"Yes, Mom," I shouted, making the doctor wince again.

"Vhy are you so _loud?_" he hissed, pressing fingers against his forehead. "Und vhy must you answer to zhem anyvay? You are an adult, _ja?_"

"I'm twenty-one," I muttered.

He narrowed his eyes. "Vhy do zhey control you?"

"Because I live under their roof," I hissed. "Now let's think about how to get you out of here."

I walked over to my door, cracking it open. I could hear my dad watching TV downstairs. Loudly. There was no telling what my mom was up to, though. And much like the doctor, she could somehow see everything. The minute I walked out into the front yard to grab my car, she'd look out the window and everything would fall apart.

I tiptoed over to the hall window, to peek out into the backyard. She wasn't out there, which meant she was either reading or cleaning or doing something else that would result in my capture. If only there was some way to convince her to go out there, or better yet, leave the house completely…

"Hey honey," she called, addressing my dad, "Did you get our prescriptions from the pharmacy?"

"No," my dad shouted from the other room, over the loud volume of the television. "I can do that later."

My heart leapt. Come on, mom. Go do it now. You know you want to.

Sure enough, she sighed. "Can't you do it now?" she asked, frustrated.

"I just want to finish this game," he yelled. "I'll do it after."

My mom's shoes tapped through the house. "Forget it," she said, "I'm going to go get them. I have errands I should run anyway. Maybe go get some fabric from Middleton's, or head out to Nicely and get some shopping done." My dad grunted from the other room.

"I said I could do it later," he repeated.

"I'm going," she said, and I heard the door open.

Problem solved.

I twisted back into the room, snatching my purse from my desk. "Come on," I hissed, grabbing the doctor's arm.

"If you pull me around one more time, I vill hurt you," he growled.

"_Okay_," I gasped, flinching away. "Then follow me. Quickly. And _quietly._"

We walked slowly down the stairs. I could hear my mom's car driving away down the street, and my heart rate immediately slowed. I opened the front door as quietly as possible, wincing when the lock clicked loudly. Luckily, the TV seemed to drown it out, because I heard my dad yell something at the game. I flung the door open and pushed the doctor out onto the stoop, causing him to glare daggers at me.

"I'm going out, dad," I shouted, jumping out and slamming the door behind me. Then I grabbed the doctor's wrist and dragged him down the front yard to my car.

"I vill have to hurt you now," snarled Richtofen, sinister.

"_Shut up_ and get in," I snapped, unlocking the passenger door and opening it. He stared.

"Fascinating," he whispered.

"Get. In," I hissed.

He glared back at me, but he stepped into the car.

I slammed the door shut on him and ran around to the driver's side, jumping in and starting the car as quickly as possible. "Come on," I grumbled, waiting for the engine to kick to life. I glanced up at my front door. No one in the windows to spy on me. I put the car in drive and fled away down the road, doctor in tow.

He was staring out at the passing landscape, mystified. "Zhis vehicle is incredible," he murmured. "So smooth und _comfortable_."

"This is the future of technology," I grumbled, turning onto another street.

"Vill you tell me vhere you're taking me now?" he asked, still calmed by his interest in the car.

"A coffeehouse," I muttered. "It's a good place to sit and talk and try to figure all of this out."

He pursed his lips. "Zhis sounds satisfactory," he muttered, reluctant.

My eyes widened, and I glanced at him for a moment. "You like coffee?" I asked.

He scoffed. "Of _course _I enjoy coffee."

"Well," I chuckled, turning onto a four lane. "Then I guess we actually have something in common."_  
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**Hehehehehe...**

I think I'm probably STILL more amused by this than anyone else is gonna be ... ... hurrrrrrrr de derp.

BUT, you should tell me what you think! ... Because ... I LOVE IT! :D

**Ze Doctor Says: "I am not amused. Shtop zhis at once, or I vill have to KILL YOU ALL."**

**Reviews bring him JOY!**


	3. The Truth Comes Out

**Hurrrrrr oh god.  
**

Once again ... SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE OTHER REALITY OH GOD. ... this is so weird to write ... ! ... but I love it?

I'm just derping so hard over here ...

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**Zombiegirl777:** Hehehe. Just imagine writing it … it's so ridiculous! XD I hope you enjoy this next little chapter, and thank you so much for reviewing my dearest! *huggle*

**WickedIntentions:** _Gut!_ And … as you suspected, it looks like it's gonna be more than three chapters … :D It's just too fun to write! And so _easy_ to write … It's silly and comes to me so easily! X3. As always, I hope you enjoy this update; and thank you for gracing me with your lovely review!

**Rose of Dusk:** ;) It's SO much fun, right? XD

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**Between Two Realities**  
A "Between Dream and Reality" Spinoff

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CHAPTER THREE

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**die Wahrheit herauskommt**  
"The Truth Comes Out"

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As I stepped through the doors of The Bean Machine, I kept an eye out for people I knew.

Luckily, no one seemed to be out today.

Richtofen trailed behind me, peering around the coffeehouse. "Strange," he muttered.

"Follow me," I hissed, walking toward the back of the room. There was a set of booths back there that seemed mostly deserted, which suited my purposes. Picking one, I gestured to the seat, giving Richtofen a meaningful glance. He stared at me in loathing.

"You expect me to sit now, ja?" he asked, condescending.

"Yes," I snapped. "Sit down and I'll go get us some coffee."

He sat down slowly, his eyes never leaving my face. "I prefer my coffee black und bitter," he hissed.

"Of course you do," I grumbled, walking back across the room.

The barista grinned at me when I got to the counter. "Hey, Kitty," he said companionably, a lock of blonde hair falling across his forehead. He brushed it back. "You want the usual?"

I nodded. "Make it a double today, though," I said. "And I'll also get a tall cup of the house, black."

As he went to work making the drinks, he gave me a sly glance out of the corner of his eye. "Surly date?" he asked jokingly, knowing full well I never dated anyone over thirty.

I groaned. "Oh god no, Jake," I muttered. "Never a date."

He laughed. "I knew he wasn't your type." He winked at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Keep makin' the coffee," I said, chuckling. "Just because you've dated everyone in town doesn't mean you own the manual." I leaned against the counter, reading the snazzy names of today's specials.

Jake was grinning to himself as he foamed my latte. "Since he's never a date, what's the story on him anyway?" he asked, trying to start up our usual banter. Normally, I was more than up for it. But today…

I combed a hand through my hair, raising my eyebrows. "He's new in town," I muttered, sticking to our story. "Found him wandering around campus at Millford, babbling in German." I shrugged for effect. "I dunno."

"German?" he said, his brown eyes sparking with interest. "You know my dad's from Frankfurt, right? You think I could talk to him or something when I'm on break?"

_Shit_. "Uh, I'm not sure he'd be up for that," I muttered unconvincingly. "He's really freaked out right now."

Jake raised an eyebrow at me. "What's the deal?" he asked, suspicious.

I bit my lip. "What do you mean?"

He gave me a deadpan stare. "You only act weird like this when you're up to something," he muttered. "So tell me. What's the deal on this guy?"

I shifted between my feet. "It's … complicated," I muttered, avoiding his eyes.

"Shit," Jake hissed, handing me my latte. His eyes were huge. "You _are_ dating him."

I started to protest, but then I realized that I had no other explanation. Instead, I lowered my eyes, trying to look bashful. "Um…"

Jake's face was devilish as he poured the black, bitter coffee for my uninvited guest, smiling mischievously. "I knew you'd fall to the dark side someday, Kitty," he said, his voice low. "Being a sugar baby feels good, doesn't it?"

The thought of Richtofen as my sugar daddy made me shudder. In a bad way.

"Look," I hissed, glancing back at my fake date. "Don't tell anyone, okay?"

After he placed the coffee on the counter, Jake lifted his hands dismissively. "Okay, okay. I won't." But he was still grinning. "I knew you had it in you," he said, shaking his head. "I always said you were too hot to settle for someone your own age."

I blushed, grabbing the drinks. "Shut up," I mumbled, stalking away as fast as I could without spilling.

Richtofen was watching me, unblinking, as I approached the booth.

"Vhat vere you talking about?" he asked, frowning.

I put his coffee down in front of him and took my seat, flustered. "That's none of your business," I snapped. "This is my world. You don't have the right to keep tabs on me anymore." I took a sip of my latte, closing my eyes.

"Your cheeks are flushed," he muttered spitefully, picking up his coffee.

I fought the urge to splutter and set my cup down on the table. "Thanks," I said, sarcastic. "I hadn't noticed."

He took a sip of his coffee, looking at me over the brim of his cup. "Hmm," he mused, swallowing. "Zhis taste is interesting."

"It's house brew," I muttered. "Best in town."

"It is pleasing," he said, taking another sip. "Und so _delightfully_ bitter."

"God forbid something isn't _pleasing_ to you," I mumbled.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Indeed. Zhat vould be unpleasant for all parties."

I sighed, exasperated. "Speaking of unpleasant… What are we going to do about this? I mean … You being here." I drank my latte without even tasting it, preoccupied. "There's no way anyone's gonna buy your immigrant story, especially if I'm the one telling it. Jake made that clear to me just now."

"Jake?" said Richtofen, curious. "So zhat is ze name of zhis boy at ze bar…"

"Do not talk to him," I said, furious.

He grinned. "I vill do as I please," he said, sinister.

"No you will not," I hissed. "You aren't supposed to be here. This world isn't like anything you're used to."

But he wasn't looking at me anymore. He was looking at the end of the table, where Jake was standing. He held a bill in his hands, grinning at us. "You forgot to pay," he said, looking sly.

I groaned. "I was gonna close up when we left, smartass," I said, looking at him with tight eyes.

"Whoops," said Jake, unrepentant.

"Hallo," Richtofen said brightly, affecting a horrible, thick German accent. "Wie geht es dir?"

"Fantastisch!" bellowed Jake.

"No no no," I muttered, jumping up and grabbing his arm. I dragged him across the coffeehouse, frantic.

Jake was staring at me, frustrated. "What is your _deal?"_ he hissed. "I'm just playing with you."

My face crumpled. "This isn't a game," I snapped, groaning at the irony.

His brows gathered, and he looked between my eyes, solemn. "Dude, Kathleen. What aren't you telling me?"

I sighed, giving up. I dragged him back to the table, pulling him into the booth beside me. "If I tell you the truth, you have to promise not to freak out," I muttered, ignoring the huge grin spreading across the doctor's face.

Jake frowned "What if you're _already_ freaking me out?" he asked, suspicious.

"Then we're gonna get nowhere, because this is major," I grumbled.

He sighed. "Jesus," he said, brushing a hand through his hair. He glanced back toward the bar, checking to make sure no one was in line. The place was pretty empty. Then he turned back, fixing me with his eyes. "Alright, lay it on me."

"Zhis vill be fun to vatch," Richtofen said, gleeful.

Jake froze for a minute, turning to look at him. Then he laughed, glancing back at me. "You know, when he speaks in English, he sounds a lot like the German guy from Nazi Zombies," he said, grinning. "Can't get enough of him in the game, huh?"

I could see the doctor's eyes flashing at me from across the table, intrigued. I groaned.

"Shit, Jake," I snapped. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, fuck," he muttered. He turned to Richtofen. "I'm sorry, that wasn't some kind of slur or anything. My dad's straight from the motherland. No worries." He grinned his winning smile at the doctor, who grinned back.

"No offense taken," said Richtofen, his voice smooth and dangerous. "But I _vould_ like to know more about zhis 'Nazi Zombies' you mentioned."

"No," I snapped. "No you do not."

"_Ja,_ Kazhleen, I do indeed," hissed the doctor, glaring at me.

Jake looked between us, perplexed. "We play it all the time," he said, clueless. "Kitty's gamertag is based off of one of the characters. He's this crazy evil Nazi doctor who loves blood and shit. He's epic." He chuckled. "He says the most hilarious shit."

Richtofen stared at me with hard eyes. "Vhat is a _gamertag_?" he muttered.

Before I could stop him, Jake answered. "The name you use online, when you play the game. Mine's something random, but she loves the doctor so much that she made a new one based off his name."

I avoided the doctor's eyes. My voice was strained. "Jake …"

Even though I was pointedly trying _not_ to look at Richtofen, I could still see the amusement flooding his features.

"What?" Jake asked, still completely lost.

My eyes were tight. "I was playing the other day, and my Xbox broke," I muttered, trying to explain.

He cut me off. "Oh shit, Kitty. I'm sorry," he said, misunderstanding. "I didn't mean to add insult to injury or something."

I shook my head. "Please shut up and let me finish," I grumbled.

Richtofen chuckled.

"So my Xbox broke," I continued, "And when I went to get my Black Ops disc out, it shocked me."

Jake nodded, keeping his mouth shut. It was hard for him. I could see it in his eyes.

I sighed. "When I went to unplug the bastard, I passed out," I muttered. "And when I woke up…"

_Jesus this is gonna sound so dumb._

Jake interrupted me. "Let me guess," he said, gesturing to the doctor. "This guy was there to save you?"

Richtofen gave a wild laugh, sounding _exactly_ like he did in the game.

Jake stared at him. "Dude, that was a creepy laugh," he said, very serious.

The doctor just grinned at him, even creepier.

"I woke up in Kino, Jake," I muttered.

He looked back at me, confused. "Where?"

"Kino," I grumbled. "Kino der Toten."

"Wait," he muttered. "So like… you had a dream?"

"No," I hissed. "Tank Dempsey actually found me and woke me up, and I was in a zombie-infested theater."

Jake smiled. "Nice sarcasm," he said approvingly.

"I'm not being sarcastic!" I snapped. The few people in the room turned to stare at me, and I lowered my voice, looking desperately at Jake. "I really woke up in the real Kino der Toten. With real zombies. And…" I glanced at Richtofen. "Real crazy men."

The doctor smiled at me confidentially.

Jake was just staring, confused. "Kitty… I really don't understand what you're trying to say."

"Look," I hissed. "I said it. That's all I can do. Put on your nerd cap and try to accept it."

"It's true," Richtofen murmured.

We both stared at him.

"What's true?" Jake asked.

"I am Doctor Richtofen," said the man himself, raising his eyebrows.

Jake frowned. "I thought he didn't know what the game was," he said, still refusing to catch on.

I grabbed his shoulders, turning him to face me. "Jake. If I have to take you back to my house and show you his gory nasty swastika shirt, I will. There's a ray gun under my bed. A real ray gun. And I have one of Nikolai's vodka bottles, too."

"You're scaring me," Jake muttered. "I think you've played enough of that game."

I stared at him, frustrated. "Jake," I moaned. "Please. Just listen to me."

"I don't think I want to," he said, avoiding my eyes.

"Listen to her," hissed Richtofen.

Jake froze, looking at him.

"She's telling ze truth," continued the doctor, angry. "You of all people should realize zhis, as I assume you are her friend, und avare of ze fact zhat she is a miserable liar." He scoffed. "Vorse zhan miserable."

Jake was quiet, staring. "Yeah," he conceded, his voice quiet. "She's pretty bad at lying."

"Terrible," muttered Richtofen.

I folded my arms on the table, shoving my face against them.

"So," Jake said, "You're saying … she's telling the truth. And that means you're … really the doctor?"

"Ja," Richtofen hissed. "Und do not make me prove it."

They were both quiet for a moment before Jake spoke again. "How is that even possible?"

"Quantum mechanics und alternate realities," said the doctor, flippant. "Not surprising."

I lifted my head to see Jake staring at him, incredulous.

"Welcome to my world," I muttered, groaning.

"Well, fuck," said Jake. "I see what you mean about putting my nerd cap on."

"I shtill vant to know more about zhis _gamertag_," muttered Richtofen, staring at me.

I stared at the ceiling, horrified.

"And I want to _die_," I moaned._  
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**lul lul lul ...**

I feel like this story is so self-indulgent (like, I love torturing my own characters, so it's fun for me as the author) ...

I really hope that it continues to be indulgent to you guys, too! XD

I'm definitely going to write more than three chapters ... !

**Ze Doctor Says: "Ah, reviews ... Nozhing goes better vith coffee! ... except for death ..."  
**

**Reviews bring him JOY!**


	4. No Resemblance

**Hurrrrrrr hurrr hurr oh sweet baby lambs.  
**

... My brain is exploding as I continue this story.

I mean, after everything that's happened over in the other reality ... o.o

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**Decepticon-silverstreak:** Maybe a torture daddy … ? …. … *cough* … yeah, that was a bad attempt at a joke. Und ja, ze doctor is fascinated by zhese snug trousers …

**Zombiegirl777:** Hahahaha … oh my gosh. No joke. … I wonder what it might be like (hence writing this story!). And TOTALLY taking up your suggestion by the way. … I absolutely cannot WAIT to write it! XD … I can't even imagine what all the quotes are going to be like … X3

**NameUnimportant:** I LOVE THIS SUGGESTION.

**Snowstormcat:** HAHAHAHA. Story of my LIFE! … oh god, poor Kitty; caught red-handed … And dude, brah … this chapter is kind of shedding some light on that … (of course, in fiction, you have to sometimes make stuff up that people wouldn't normally accept… .)

**Rose of Dusk:** I totally wouldn't! … but if they were insistent … and they shoved Richtofen in my face ...

**WickedIntentions:** HAHAHA GOOD! XD … Just wait till you see what the gamertag actually is … ;D … Of course, poor Kitty never expected the real man would somehow become a part of her life … X3 … As far as a little somethin'-somethin' … OH MY GOODNESS WHAT EVER ARE YOU IMPLYING? … c; … Hope you enjoy this update my dearest! *snugglecakes*

**M3D1C101:** HURR HURR HURRRRRRR.

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**Between Two Realities**  
A "Between Dream and Reality" Spinoff

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CHAPTER FOUR

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**keine Ähnlichkeit mit  
**"No Resemblance"

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Now, all three of us were huddled around the computer at the counter.

I'm sure it was an odd sight. Jake, cool and relaxed in his Bean Machine uniform, clicking away at the screen; me, panicked and biting my lip; and Richtofen, taller than both of us and furious as always, hunching over to examine the machine.

"Zhis device is incredible," he murmured, touching the display.

"Hey, don't touch that," Jake said, frowning. "That could mess it up."

Richtofen glared at him.

"Just open the video so we can be done with this," I grumbled, glancing around the room.

"Geez," Jake muttered. "Hold onto your britches."

The doctor chuckled.

In the searchbar, Jake typed "Kino der Toten Gameplay," and a load of results popped up. As he scrolled down the page, I chanced a glance at Richtofen. He was staring intently at the screen, his face twisted into an odd expression.

"Vhat is all of zhis?" he asked, confused. "A public database?"

"Kind of," I muttered. "It's called the internet. It's basically infinite information."

Jake scoffed. "Or infinite shit," he grumbled. He opened a youtube video, turning down the volume.

Black gloves holding Porter's X2 Ray Gun moved calmly through the alley, shooting beams of red energy at oncoming zombies. One of them moaned, smacking at the player. He dodged skillfully, killing it with a well-placed shot. Just then, a yellow arrow appeared onscreen, a pale white message flashing_. XxDJsnaZZyPants needs to be revived._

The player sprinted into the building, heading for the theater. XxDJsnaZZyPants, playing as Dempsey, was dragging his ass slowly down the aisle. As the first-person player headed toward him, a crawler grabbed him, and a familiar voice shouted, "Get off my leg, _minion!"_

"That's a gamertag," Jake noted, pointing toward the name above Dempsey's head.

Richtofen was enthralled. "Zhis replica of ze theater is _incredible,"_ he murmured, scowling. "How can zhey _know_ zhis?"

All of us watched as the guy playing Dempsey was revived. Once up, he sprinted away from the first-person player, toward the stage. At that moment, a giant throng of zombies headed out of the dressing room, surrounding the Dempsey player. Our first-person Richtofen player taunted, "Oh, look at our brave American soldier, needing help from _ze doctor!"_

The _real_ doctor jerked back, grimacing. "Is _zhat _vhat I sound like?" he asked, his voice sharp.

We both nodded at him.

He scowled. "My voice is _not _zhat high-pitched," he grumbled.

"Uh," Jake muttered, "It kind of is." The doctor glared at him and he quickly corrected. "Sometimes. I mean sometimes."

We spent the next ten minutes or so watching various clips of Zombies gameplay. Richtofen was enthralled. And disturbed. The likenesses of Nikolai, Takeo, and Dempsey made him upset because, as he noted, "Zhey are even uglier like zhis." And when we showed him a close-up of his own character model, he made a noise of disgust.

"Zhis offends me," he growled. "I am far more magnificent."

I bit my lip. It was kind of true.

"Well," Jake said, "Game models always look kind of weird. I mean, look at the models for Kennedy and Nixon. I'm sure they looked better in person."

Richtofen was still scowling at the screencap, leaning in close to stare at it. "Vhy have zhey made me so _corpselike?_" he hissed. "My face does not look like zhat. I am not _skeletal._ Und I am not zhis _squat."_ He scoffed.

Jake shrugged. "I guess they wanted to play up you being a bad guy or something," he said, matter-of-fact. Then he looked the doctor up and down, glancing back at the screen. "It looks _kind of_ like you," he muttered. "Kind of."

"_Nein,"_ he snapped. "I have eyes. I know vhat I look like. Und zhis is not an accurate depiction of me."

Again, it was kind of true. Sure, it resembled him; in the way Kennedy's model resembled the real Kennedy. It was like Jake said. The model was just … weird. Angles were sharper, features were exaggerated, and the Richtofen model was simply creepy. Light didn't reflect off of it properly, making its face look distorted.

The man himself looked like a man, not a zombie.

He gave me a strange look, and I realized I'd been staring at him. I looked away quickly.

"Vhat?" he snapped, addressing me. "Do _you_ zhink I look like zhat?"

I frowned, looking back at him. "No, I don't actually," I grumbled.

The answer shocked him. I guess he'd been expecting me to say yes.

As he stared at me, uncharacteristically speechless, I continued. "You look more human than that," I said. "It's kind of like … a caricature of you," I muttered, finally finding the right word. "It's obvious that it's _you_, it's just not completely accurate."

He pressed his lips together.

"I totally agree," said Jake, grinning at me. "It's a caricature."

"Zhis subject is making me _extremely_ angry," Richtofen announced, closing his eyes. He pressed fingers to his temple.

"We just said you _didn't_ look like that," I grumbled, frowning at him.

"You said it vas not _completely_ accurate," he corrected, grimacing down at me.

I groaned. Oh my god. What the fuck was my life? "Look," I muttered, also getting pissed. "It's not a big deal."

The furious look in his eyes suggested otherwise.

"Really?" I scowled up at him, running a hand through my hair. "What do you want me to say?" I snapped.

Jake just stared at us.

"Tell me vhy ze model is not _completely_ _accurate,"_ he snarled, mocking me.

Rage flushed my face and I stepped closer to the doctor, invading his personal space.

"You guys," said Jake, nervous, "We _are_ in a public place…"

I ignored him. "It's a _representation_ for a _game._ Of course it's not accurate," I spat.

"I meant in _vhat vay_," he spat back, narrowing his eyes.

"It's _creepy!"_ I said, exasperated. "You're not _that creepy."_

He scowled. "But it is an ozhervise accurate depiction," he muttered.

"No," I groaned, frustrated. "Why the hell are we talking about this?"

"So zhat is_ not_ how you see me," he clarified, continuing to frown.

I blinked. "Not since I met the real you," I said, my eyebrows bunching in confusion. "Are we done now?"

He was looking at me strangely again. "How does ze 'real me' differ from ze model?" he asked. Nope, not done.

I didn't know how to explain it. I struggled with the words. "The model is just … _ugly,_" I finally managed, shaking my head. I looked up at his face, his real face, and frowned, trying to word it better. But that was the bottom line. The model was ugly, and he … _wasn't._

It was weird to realize.

His eyes flashed at me. "Ze model _is_ ugly," he agreed. Then he stared at me, expectant.

"And _you're_ not," I added, humoring him.

Jake looked torn between amusement and confusion. "Are you sure you guys aren't dating?" he asked.

We glared at him.

"Excuse me," said a tiny voice.

All of us twisted around to see a little old lady at the counter, looking worried.

"I don't mean to interrupt," she continued, "But I need to pay for my coffee."

"Of course, ma'am," said Jake, bustling over to the cash register.

The doctor and I stood awkwardly by the computer, frowning at various things in the room. We avoided frowning at each other. When I frowned at a man in the corner, he frowned back, and I jumped, glancing away.

Suddenly, Jake was back. "Look, I get off in an hour. How about you guys meet me then?" He stared at Richtofen for a moment. "I have an idea of something we could do."

"What?" I asked, apprehensive.

The doctor just kept frowning.

Jake grinned. "Let's just say it involves my new HD TV," he said, waggling his eyebrows.

"We are _not_ playing zombies with Richtofen," I muttered.

"Oh," Jake sighed. "I believe we are."_  
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**herp derp derp ... lols ...  
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... I'm laughing like an idiot to myself over here. ...

But I'm seriouslah, the way I picture Richtofen in my head is TOTALLY different from the way his character model looks. (I'm going to have a draw a picture and link it to you guys). I mean, in game, sometimes he honestly looks like a zombie. But here's a close-up of all the character models' faces ... which I think is WAY more accurate (the 3D ones, not the creepy cartoons next to them. Dempsey and Richtofen look COMPLETELY WRONG UGH): http(colon)(forwardslash)(forwardslash)(i).(imgur).com(forwardslash)(y)(Tiya).(png)... Replace the colons/dots/slashes with their symbol counterparts, and remove the parentheses... And then you can see Richtofen's big pretty German lips. Hurr hurr hurr. Also ... in that screencap ... Dempsey looks kind of like my boyfriend ... o.o ... Except my boyfriend is all long-faced like Richtofen ... so imagine their baby. XD

... ... I'm not the only one who thinks Richtofen's sexy in that screencap, right ... ? D:

Thanks to **Zombiegirl777** for the suggestion that they all play games together!

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**Ze Doctor Says: "Fine. I vill agree vith you ... *sigh* ... I _am_ sexy. ... NOW LEAVE ME REVIEWS!"  
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	5. The Doctor is Not Pleased

**... You guys are gonna LOVE this chapter.**

If I say so myself, I mean... X3

... I can't explain how much FUN this story is to write. I think partially it's because it has no real "plot" ... it's just goofy ridiculousness. And I LOVE IT!

And I can assure you that there will be at least one more chapter with the doctor playing Zombies.

At least. ... At most, he's gonna go pro. XD

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**Flipnotes:** Hmm… Perhaps I'll write an "Insert Yourself" story where you can go on a date with the doctor. XD … The gamertag shall be revealed below! And YAY! I'm so glad my stories can be an inspiration! C: I hope you enjoy this update, my dear! Thank you for the review!

**M3D1C101:** Ohoho … I do believe you are correct. X3 … Oh, Richtofen. If only you knew how many fangirls you had… XD

**Rose of Dusk:** HERE! TAKE THE UPDATE! TAKE IT! :D And awww thank you! C: I'm glad you enjoy my writing, my dearest!

**Decepticon-silverstreak:** And doesn't he know it! ;D

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**Between Two Realities**  
A "Between Dream and Reality" Spinoff

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CHAPTER FIVE

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**der Doktor ist nicht erfreut  
**"The Doctor is Not Pleased"

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The doctor held the controller awkwardly, his long fingers curled around it like spider legs.

"Vhat do I do vith zhis?" he asked, grimacing.

"Just hold on a minute," muttered Jake, setting up his Xbox.

We were in the common area of his apartment, where he'd installed his enormous new TV and sound system. I had to admit, I was excited to see how the game looked on the huge screen. Almost excited enough to forget that the actual Doctor Richtofen was sitting in the room with us.

It was so weird to see him there, hunched in the middle of Jake's worn-out blue sofa. He looked completely out of place. And the fact that he was holding an Xbox controller was simply ridiculous.

Sure, he didn't look _exactly_ like the Richtofen we played from behind the screen. I scoffed, rolling my eyes. We'd established _that _quite clearly at the Bean Machine. And the T-shirt and sweatpants weren't _quite_ as terrifying as the Nazi uniform. But those were definitely the same cold green eyes I'd faced every day in the real Kino. They flashed threateningly out at us, like those of a cornered animal.

"Zhis is very upsetting," he announced, scowling at me. "I vish to know ze purpose of zhis device."

"It's the game controller," I grumbled. "Just wait. Jake has to get the console set up first."

I watched as the person in question hooked up various HD cables and turned on his speakers. They thumped with air, and Richtofen's eyes darted over to glare at them. "Now vhat is happening?" he asked, his voice rising in pitch.

"That's just the sound system warming up," explained Jake, nonplussed. He was totally absorbed in the process of hooking up his electronics. I grinned. He was kind of a technophile. When it came to technology, he spared absolutely no expense; and I had to love him for it. Gaming at his apartment was always an experience.

The doctor made a noise of frustration and leaned back against the couch, frowning at the ceiling. He was still holding the controller awkwardly away from his body.

I bit back a giggle. Finally, I could appreciate how hilarious this whole situation was.

Unsurprisingly, he noticed. His eyes moved over to me, narrowing. "Vell, at least _someone_ is amused," he muttered humorlessly, running a hand through his dark bronze hair. It was dry now, and slightly wavy, which surprised me. I guess without his hat and whatever he used to slick it back, this was the way it naturally looked.

He made a face. "Vhat?" he snapped. "Shtop _shtaring_ at me."

My lips quirked into a grin before I could stop them, but I looked away.

He inhaled sharply. "I really vant to _hurt_ you vhen you do zhat," he growled.

"Okay!" Jake said brightly, backing over to the couch. He plopped down beside the doctor, completely nonchalant, like he wasn't sitting next to a madman. I pursed my lips. This was all still a game to him. He hadn't _realized_ that this was really Richtofen. Of course, he also hadn't seen him in action, killing zombies for days on end like I had.

I sighed.

Jake looked up at me with big brown eyes, grinning. "You joining us?" he asked.

I edged over to the couch, ignoring the feeling of the doctor's cold eyes watching me. He was sitting dead in the middle of the sofa. I sat down as close to the arm as possible.

"Alright," Jake said, reaching down to pick up his controller. "Here we go."

He mashed the center button and his Xbox flared to life.

The opening screen flashed up on the TV, and Richtofen twitched, staring at it. I listened to the dulcet Microsoft theme tones, trying not to get too excited, but it was hopeless. Even after experiencing the horror of the real thing, I was still pumped to play me some Zombies.

Jake found his LIVE ID and signed in, _DesignatedJMan88._

"That's my gamertag," he said informatively, glancing at the doctor.

"_I know vhat zhey are now,"_ Richtofen hissed, annoyed.

"Alright, alright," Jake said dismissively. He leaned over, looking at me. "You want to sign in with your tag for the doc? Or do you want me to put him on my guest account?"

I grimaced. But before I could say anything, Richtofen interrupted.

"_I_ vant her to sign in," he said, grinning.

I frowned at him, which only made his smile even more wicked.

"I'm not going to," I muttered.

He moved toward me, completely aware that I was trying to stay as far from him as possible. I winced in the opposite direction, looking away from his face. Holy shit. I could actually feel his body heat. _"_You _love _Ze Doctor so much you name your alias after him," he murmured, his voice terrifying, "Und yet you vill not share it vith ze real man?" He tutted.

I blushed. "Get the fuck away from me," I grumbled.

I could feel him smiling at me, but he backed off.

Jake was quiet for a moment, staring at us. "Uh… okay then." He reached for the doctor's controller with a hesitant hand. "Wanna give me that so I can sign you in?"

Richtofen obliged wordlessly. Jake put him on a guest account, handing the controller back.

Then he selected the Black Ops logo on the main screen, and the Treyarch intro credits started rolling.

A notification flashed up on the screen. Two of Jake's friends were playing Black Ops. He mashed his home button to check who they were, and the dialogue scrolled up to show his friends' recent activity in the game. Only two were online, the two announced in the message. Everyone else hadn't played in hours. Someone named _MrGr8Fantastix_ was online two hours ago; _POWAb17CH_ was online three hours ago.

And _ZeDoctorIsPLZD_ was online eight hours ago.

_What?_ How was that even _possible?_

"Hmm," Richtofen mused, stroking his thumb along his bottom lip. "I believe I have found Kazhleen's gamertag."

I frowned, sinking back into the couch.

"Alzhough," he murmured, "Vhat is ze significance of ze lettering at ze end?"

"I think that's her version of chatspeak for 'pleased,'" said Jake informatively, making me frown even deeper.

"Ah. Und so ze alias is 'Ze Doctor is pleased.'" He chuckled. _"Indeed."_

"_Okay,"_ I grumbled. "Can we just get on with the game?"

Jake pressed start and scrolled down to Zombies on the opening screen. The familiar creepy music started playing and my heart leapt in a happy reflex. How could I _possibly _miss this game? I was literally just _in_ it. … And apparently was online playing it eight hours ago, even though I _knew_ I was in Kino eight hours ago. The _real_ Kino.

As Jake selected Kino der Toten, I groaned.

"Vhy do you keep _groaning?"_ asked Richtofen, annoyed.

I glared at him. "Just leave me alone."

He grinned. "So _testy,"_ he murmured, savoring the word. "Your anger is _delightful."_

We turned to watch the screen, waiting for the lobby to fill with players. Some annoying kids were screaming into their mics, so Jake switched out to try a fresh group. Again, everyone with a mic was _way _too loud, so Jake sighed, giving up. "It's probably a bad idea to go straight to multiplayer on LIVE anyway," he said, laid back as always. He talked to Richtofen like he was just another guy learning how to play the game. "We'll do two-player first, so you can see what it's like."

He scrolled back to the Zombies menu, hit split-screen, and selected Kino.

The comic book opening screen flashed up on the TV.

Before I could stop myself, I started to recite the doctor's diary. It was a habit.

"Entry seven four one zero _TWO-"_ and I choked on the words, stopping mid-quote and staring in terror at the doctor.

But he hadn't noticed.

He was watching the screen intently, his face twisted into a frown.

"… _zhis station vill hold ze key to ze real goals of group nine-three-five. I still do not trust my unconventional allies, but zhey are of great use to me. BUT, I digress. Who vould have zhought the M.T.D vas capable of time travel? How many stations does zhis group have? Vhere did zhat little girl disappear to? Only time vill tell vhat new questions avait us in zhis...THEATER OF ZE DAMNED!"_

And then I heard the all too familiar sound of the teleporter, zapping us into the first round.

_"Well well well,"_ grumbled game-Tank, and the sound of his voice made my heart ache. "Looks like there ain't no power."

He was still in that other reality. Did he even know I was gone?

Richtofen made a noise of disgust. _"Dempshey,"_ he spat.

That made Jake bust out laughing. "Holy shit," he said. "You _really _hate him?"

Richtofen glared at him.

"Jake," I muttered. "Why don't you explain the controls?"

"Oh, right," he said, leaning over to point stuff out. "This is how you walk, and this is how you look around." He demonstrated on his controller, making Tank walk upstairs. "And if you push on this stick, you sprint. It kind of takes some getting used to."

I watched the doctor's surgical fingers toying with the controls, making Nikolai spin around on the bottom screen. He grimaced. "Zhis is nauseating," he grumbled.

"Yeah, you just have to mess around for a while to get the hang of it," said Jake, looking apologetic. "I wish I had some kind of magic way to teach it to you."

"I am capable of teaching myself," Richtofen snapped, glaring at him. Then he turned back to the screen. I watched as he made Nikolai walk slowly across the teleporter pad, trying to figure out the dual control sticks. That was when the first few zombies started moaning and ripping off boards.

The doctor twisted around on the couch, his eyes wide. _"Impossible,"_ he hissed, staring out at the room.

"It's in the game," I said quickly, touching his arm. "The zombies are in the game."

He looked at me for a moment, silent. "Ah. Indeed," he mumbled, turning back to the TV.

"Woah," said Jake. "You guys are really paranoid now, aren't you?"

Richtofen ignored him.

Unconsciously, I reached up and rubbed my scar through my sweater.

During that first round, Jake showed the doctor the ropes. How to shoot, how to stab, how to look around a corner; it really took me back. I used to suck at playing Zombies, and watching Richtofen fiddle awkwardly with the controller made me frustrated on his behalf.

The third time the doctor was downed, he hissed in irritation and threw the controller at me. "I vish to observe," he snarled, furious. I stared at him for a moment, then picked up the controller, pausing and setting my options. The plastic was warm from his hands. I tried to ignore that as I unpaused, running Nikolai over to board up a window.

Jake and I made short work of the remaining level one zombies. Then when two was halfway through, the demonic announcer shouted _"Insta-kill!"_

Richtofen winced. _"Scheiße,"_ he muttered, pressing a finger to his temple. I frowned at him, and he turned to look at me. "Ze voices," he grumbled.

I frowned deeper. "Insta-kill?"

Now he was frowning. "Did you hear it?" he asked, tentative.

"That was the game," I gasped, my eyes widening. _"That's what they sound like?"_

He stared at me. Then he muttered something so fast in German that I couldn't even make out hypothetical words. "Zhis is beyond comprehension," he hissed. "How can ze manufacturers of zhis … _game_ … know vhat ze _voices_ sound like?"

"Hey, Kitty," Jake muttered. "You wanna help me out here?"

I checked the screen, and saw that he'd been downed. Three zombies were closing in on me, so I dodged them, leading them away so I could revive him. "This is so weird," I mumbled under my breath, watching the orange triangle over Tank's head turn white and eventually disappear.

"I'm not turnin' now, am I?" asked game-Tank, and I shivered. My face crumpled.

I could feel Richtofen's eyes on me, calculating. "Zhis makes you miss Dempshey, _ja?"_ he asked. His voice sounded strange.

I shrugged. This was getting way too bizarre. I killed all of the remaining zombies with angry stabs of Nikolai's knife, and he growled, "No, it's _my_ vodka! Mine! _My own!"_

The doctor suddenly laughed, high-pitched. "Oh, zhat is so _gloriously _Nikolai_."_

"Wait till you hear _yourself,"_ Jake said, waggling his eyebrows.

Richtofen frowned again.

"Why don't we just do single-player and restart until we get him?" I suggested, desperate to avoid hearing Tank talk again. "I mean, that's why you brought him here, right?"

Jake grinned. "That's a good idea," he said. He paused the game and quit, exiting back to the main screen.

"I have a feeling zhis vill not please me," grumbled the doctor.

"Uh oh, Kitty," said Jake, joking. "Looks like you've gotta change your gamertag."

I scowled at him.

He selected single-player mode, and the opening screen started up again, with the doctor reciting his diary entry. Richtofen grimaced.

Then the teleporter zapped again and we were back in the theater.

"There is no power now," noted Takeo's voice, stern and measured as always. "Perhaps there never was."

"Ah, ze monkey bomb!" exclaimed the actual doctor, and I snorted. I couldn't help it. He literally just said one of his funniest game quotes.

"Guess I'm gonna have to look at the portraits," said Jake, also laughing.

Richtofen glowered between the two of us. "I vant to shtab _both_ of you," he grumbled.

Jake restarted the level. This time, Nikolai's gloves were holding the pistol.

"No power," Nikolai said happily. "Just like home."

Jake restarted. Nikolai again.

"Maybe someone should go turn on the power now," Nikolai grumbled.

Another restart.

"We need to bring light to this dark place," murmured Takeo.

Restart.

"Aw, are you freakin' kidding me?" Tank groaned. "No power!"

Restart.

"I think we need to do something about the power," said Nikolai, blunt.

Jake groaned. "This is so fucking annoying," he grumbled. He restarted again.

Another familiar voice spoke. "Zhere is no power… how _suspicious_." There was a pause. "Or OBVIOUS!"

Before I could stop him, Jake restarted again.

"Jake!" I hissed. "You had him!"

He looked at me in confusion. "Oh, shit," he muttered. "I just got used to it…"

Luckily, as the teleporter zapped away, I noticed it was black gloves again.

"I cannot torture my minions wizhout _power,"_ muttered the game. _"Dempshey, _you go turn it on."

Richtofen barked a laugh.

"He likes it!" Jake yelled, triumphant.

Watching the doctor's face, I wasn't too sure he _liked_ it. He seemed more curious than anything. And of course he was still angry as always.

Jake ran across the room, stabbing zombies, and the game-Richtofen shrieked. _"Ze BLOOD! Ze beautiful BLOOD!"_

The doctor frowned. "I vould never say zhat," he grumbled, pouting.

I stared at him. "I've _heard_ you say that," I said, incredulous.

He grimaced at me.

Jake looked like he was choking back laughter.

"Did you feel it? Oh, I _hope you did,"_ moaned game-Richtofen, shooting a zombie.

The real doctor scowled.

"Oh, come on," I muttered. "You _love_ pain."

He pressed his lips together. "You have played zhis game often?" he asked. It was more a statement than a question.

"Yep," Jake answered for me. "And she always plays as you."

I groaned.

Richtofen's eyes flashed. "Und so you have heard all of zhese zhings zhey make me say," he extrapolated.

I stared at him, strangely pissed and embarrassed. "Everyone who plays Zombies has," I grumbled.

"Everyone loves the doc," Jake agreed.

"Don't tell him _that_," I muttered.

But Richtofen was still scowling at me. "You are avare zhat zhis is shtill only a _representation _of me, ja?"

I frowned. "You're really getting on my nerves with all this _'representation' _shit," I hissed.

"Vell, I do not appreciate zhis _game_ assuming it knows everyzhing about me," he snarled.

"Look," I muttered. "Obviously _this,"_ I said, gesturing to him in disgust, "Is the real you. Not _that,"_ I said, pointing at the screen. "So just let it go."

"I vant to know ze extent zhey presume to know me," he snapped, defiant.

"Then we'll have to go on the internet again," Jake groaned.

"No," I objected. "We're not doing that. It'll take hours, and this is already stupid enough." I sat up on the couch, scooting back to perch on the arm. I scowled at both of them. "What I really need is a way to explain _why_ he's here, and find some way to … shelter him or something." I grimaced. "I really don't have time to watch you play Richtofen while Richtofen watches you play… Richtofen." I huffed.

"But I _shtill_ vant to learn how to play zhis game," complained the doctor, stubborn.

"Later," I hissed. Then I frowned. "Wouldn't reality implode or something if you played as yourself?"

He gave me a deadpan look. "Don't be _daft_," he growled.

"As far as somewhere to stay," Jake muttered, looking tentative, "My roommate's gone for the semester."

"Here?" I raised my eyebrows. "Jake. Do you really _understand_ who this is?"

"You do realize I am sitting in betveen ze two of you," grumbled the doctor.

"Yeah, sure," said Jake. "I mean, you wouldn't_ really_ murder me, right?" he asked, looking at Richtofen.

The doctor thought about this question for a moment.

Jake started to look panicked.

"I suppose not," Richtofen finally mumbled, disappointed.

"See?" I said, horrified. "You _can't_ let him stay here."

"Well, you can't have him at your parents'," Jake countered. But he was horrified, too. "I see why this is such a problem now, though."

Richtofen made a noise of exasperation. "I vill not kill _eizher_ of you," he announced, frustrated.

"You can't kill _anyone_," I snapped, glaring at him.

He pursed his lips.

"You'd get arrested," added Jake.

"_Ja, ja,"_ Richtofen grumbled. "She already explained zhat to me."

"Okay," Jake said, thinking about all of this. "Then … why can't he stay here?"

"I guess he can for now," I muttered, not sure what else to do. "But I don't want you here _alone_ with him." I ran nervous fingers through my hair. It had dried into a mess and I was kind of embarrassed that Jake was seeing me like this. He'd only ever been just a friend to me, but still. I liked to be presentable if I could.

"I guess you can stay here too," Jake suggested. "I mean, you've stayed here before."

"Yeah," I conceded. "And I've already been dealing with him for the past few weeks or whatever it was in that reality."

"I am _shtill here_," Richtofen growled.

"I know!" I hissed, frowning at him. "You think I'm blind?"

"Does he have clothes and stuff?" Jake asked.

I shook my head.

"_Nein," _said Richtofen, giving me a dirty look. "I can answer for myself."

"Guess we better take you shopping or something," Jake muttered.

"He can't wear his old Nazi uniform," I agreed. "He's got on my dad's clothes right now, but … they don't really fit you, right?" I asked the doctor.

He scowled. "Zhis clozhing is strange und _ugly_," he said, picking at the baggy sweatpants.

"So that's a yes on the shopping," I muttered.

"You get to play dress-up with Richtofen!" Jake teased, batting his eyelashes.

I frowned. "Every girl's dream come true," I said in a sarcastic monotone, and the doctor turned his scowl on me.

"Probably some," Jake noted thoughtfully.

I sighed. "Okay so, he's gonna stay here," I said, beginning to list. "We're getting him clothes somehow, with all the money I don't have." Jake nodded. I continued. "And I'm going to stay here too, and make sure you don't become one of his experiments," I finished.

Richtofen scoffed. "I cannot perform an experiment _here_," he said, scandalized.

Jake grimaced at him. "Should we start with the clothes then?" he asked. "Maybe a thrift store?"

I chewed on my lip. "I never thought I'd want to shoplift this badly," I grumbled.

"Turning to crime is a bad idea," Jake scolded.

"Not alvays," muttered the doctor.

I was tense, trying to figure out how we were going to afford clothes. "Maybe someone else we know has old stuff that would fit him?"

"I can ask around," Jake suggested, thinking aloud. "But that probably won't do us much good for now."

I sighed.

Suddenly, someone's stomach made a loud noise.

Judging by the look on his face, it was Richtofen's. "I suppose I am hungry," he noted, surprised.

"Food's a good idea," said Jake. "Let's go get some." He gave me a comforting look. "I'll treat him. And I'll cover the clothes if I have to."

I shook my head. "That's ridiculous," I said, blushing. "I'd feel like shit if you did that."

"Hey," said Jake, refusing to listen. "You've helped me out before. And besides, you're a good friend. I want you to know I'm here for you, too."

I smiled warmly at him. "You know, I really would've missed you if I'd been trapped in Kino forever."

The doctor got to his feet. "Zhis is all very _sveet,"_ he grumbled, stretching. "But I vould prefer finding somezhing to eat."

I got off the arm of the sofa. "Alright," I said. "But let me use the bathroom first."

"Oh, how pleasant," said Richtofen, sarcastic.

I ignored him, walking down the hall.

After I did my business, I washed my hands, examining my reflection. Yes, I was a mess. I shuddered to think what I'd looked like before my hasty shower. Now, I was clean, but my hair was frizzy, and there were dark circles under my eyes from the strain of the past couple of weeks. Weeks that suddenly didn't exist. I shook my head. After an unsuccessful attempt to smooth down my hair, I left the bathroom.

I almost smashed into the doctor, frowning. "What are you doing here?"

"Nature calls me as vell," he snarled, pushing past me and slamming the door at my back.

Weird to think he had to piss just like me. I chuckled, walking back into the common area.

"What do you want to eat?" Jake asked as I returned.

Suddenly, the thought of food overwhelmed me.

Real food. Food that wasn't from a can stolen in Germany.

My stomach clenched.

"Anything," I murmured.

"How about a burger?" he suggested.

And that sounded great to me._  
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Once again, Thanks to **Zombiegirl777** for the suggestion that they all play games together!

**Hehehehe ... Fun times with Ze Doctor!**

... This story is WAY too much fun ...

I hope you guys are having as much fun as I am. XD

Does anyone else have suggestions for things they want to happen? Because ... believe me, I'll have a BLAST writing them!

(And like I said: Don't you worry... the doctor's not finished playing Zombies! X3)

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**Ze Doctor Says: "Zhis does not amuse me. MY VOICE IS NOT ZHAT HIGH-PITCHED. ... ... not _all_ ze time ..."**


	6. The Doctor's New Clothes

**... YAYYYYYY UPDATE! Thank you for reading my lovelies! c':  
**

I know it's been FOREVER and I'm so sorry about that ... But I always read all of your reviews and I love all of you so much!

I've been so busy with "Between Dream and Reality," I haven't been focusing on my other stories at all ... D:

But here! Here is an update for your viewing pleasure! And I hope you enjoy it as much as the others!

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**NameUnimportant:** Oh, believe me; there will be apple pie. XD

**packed-a-punch:** Oooh I like the idea of doing something with Tank! I love him. C: And I'm so glad you enjoy my writing! It makes me so happy to hear that people enjoy my stories! C': … And I agree! Tank is a total badass. I adore him!

**Bu11etB1iss115:** Hahaha yayy I'm glad you like it! And yes … Gah I have so many things to finish! Hahaha! But don't worry; I will finish them all, if it's the last thing I do! C:

**LazyMongoose:** YAYYY! I'm so glad! I can't believe people are hearing about my fics through other people … o.o … That's so flattering! *blushing* I have a lot of fun writing this story, so I'm glad people have so much fun reading it! I can't wait to make ze doc play zombies again … XD … It was so glorious the first time … And indeed, torturing characters is the most fun way to write! X'3 … and … I love you a lot for this review! *huggle*

**WickedIntentions:** I have so many ideas for this story, and so little time to write! Hahaha … And I'm still trying to finish BDAR! … But oh goodness, there will be much more Richtofen playing zombies in the future … and plenty more lulz to go around … XD … I love my dearest! Hope you are doing well! C: Hopefully you will have plenty more lovely chapters to read!

**Flipnotes:** Yayyy! I shall write it! And YES I'm so glad people love the way I'm writing him! He's so amusing to me … XD … Especially making him see "himself" in the game … oh gosh. Totally not done with that! X'3 There shall be SO MUCH MORE!

**M3D1C101:** Hahahahaha! I'm so glad you liked it! c':

**Rose of Dusk:** Yay! It makes me happy to hear you liked it! :'3

**Decepticon-silverstreak:** HAHAHAHAHA OH GOSH … … the doctor playing with himself … hurr hurr hurr … …

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**Between Two Realities**  
A "Between Dream and Reality" Spinoff

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CHAPTER SIX

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**des Doktors neue Kleider**  
"The Doctor's New Clothes"

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When our burgers came, my mouth was watering so much I had to swallow three times.

"Dude, Kitty," muttered Jake. He was sitting beside me in the booth, giving me a disgusted look. "Control yourself."

Across from us, the doctor was silent; but his expression was worth a thousand words.

"Shut up," I snapped at both of them, glancing at the waitress. She was staring at me, too, obviously worried about my mental health. I sighed. "Look," I grumbled, suddenly fixing her with a serious face. It made her take a step back. "I haven't had real food in weeks, okay?"

She nodded nervously, setting down our plates. Then she gave me a very unconvincing grin, and quickly stumbled away.

"Alvays making such a _vonderful_ first impression," muttered Richtofen, snide as usual.

I scowled at him.

"Damn, you guys fight like cats and dogs," Jake said, pointing out the obvious. He lifted the bun from his cheeseless burger and slathered it with ketchup. "Shove some food in your mouth and _relax._" Then, taking his own advice, he smashed the bun back on top of his burger and took an enormous bite.

As Jake chewed, Richtofen wrinkled his nose, staring at his plate. "I shtill do not undershtand vhy zhey are called _hamburgers,_" he grumbled, his accent pronounced. He prodded his burger with one long finger. "Vere zhey invented in _Hamburg?_ Und if so, vhy are zhey such a … shtaple _American_ foodshtuff?"

"Oh my _god_, Richtofen," I hissed, trying to spread mayonnaise on my toasted bun. "Just eat the damn thing." I was so excited about my burger that my hands were actually shaking. I knew I had to control myself, so I was trying to take my time; but the longer the delicious aroma wafted up to my nose, the hungrier I got.

If that was even possible.

This did not go unnoticed by the doctor, who regarded me with a curious look as I reassembled my burger. "You vere not _shtarving_ at ze cinema," he noted, lifting a sweet-potato fry to his mouth. He sniffed it delicately. Then he nibbled the end.

"I know," I muttered, nibbling one of my own fries. Maybe that would take the edge off of my hunger. But the minute the crispy, warm-salted sliver of sweet-potato touched my tongue, I moaned. Literally moaned. "Holy shit," I mumbled, grabbing five more and stuffing them into my mouth. It was like eating _happiness._

Richtofen snorted. "How _ladylike."_

I tried to say "shut up," but it just came out as "mmphgshhh." Guess there were too many fries in my mouth. Luckily, Jake was too focused on his own meal to comment. That was the magical thing about good food: Suddenly, all the wise-asses were quiet.

Well, all except the doctor.

Now, he was picking up his burger, the tips of his long, thin fingers squishing into the bun. He lifted it to his lips, testing a small piece of meat. I fought the urge to laugh as he chewed his tiny little bite. This was the man who laughed at death and enjoyed the feeling of blood on his face. Wasn't he brave enough to chomp down on a burger?

He noticed the mocking gleam in my eye and scowled.

I swallowed down my giant mouthful of fry and took a sip of sweet tea. "Just suck it up and take a real bite," I said, raising my eyebrows.

"Vhy don't you?" he countered, glaring at my unbitten burger.

I reached down and lifted my cheddar-bacon aioli to my lips. Then I opened wide and took a bite that rivaled Jake's.

"Nice," said the guy in question, giving me an approving look.

I could feel a warm dribble of grease trickling down my chin, but I didn't even bother wiping it away. Instead, I chewed triumphantly, savoring the meaty, tangy flavors. If the fries were like eating happiness, this was like eating _satisfaction._ God. I forgot how _delicious_ food could be.

Richtofen made a noise of disgust at my graphic display. I swallowed down my giant bite and grinned, victorious.

"If zhat vas some perverse attempt to _appetize_ me," he grumbled, "You failed."

"Oh, that had _nothing _to do with you," I sighed, gazing at my burger with adoration. "That was me dying and going to heaven."

The doctor rolled his eyes. "If _only,_" he muttered.

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Now that my stomach was full, the world suddenly seemed so much brighter.

I hummed as we left the restaurant and walked down the sidewalk of the shopping center, heading for the department store.

"You seem chipper," noticed Jake, smiling at me. He crooked his elbow, and I slipped my arm through it, grinning brightly.

"I am, I am," I said, sing-song. "God. I feel so _good_ right now."

Richtofen grunted, striding along behind us. "You are like a _child_," he muttered.

"Best way to be," I acknowledged, twisting around to smile at him.

He scowled.

"Guess we better hit Belk or Macy's first," Jake said, mostly to himself. "Gotta be something there he'd wear."

"Good idea," I agreed. "I was thinking probably a classic look, maybe black blazer or something."

Jake hummed, thinking. "I've got good taste," he said, shameless. "We'll get him dressed well."

"I vill not vear anyzhing else so _ugly_," added the doctor, picking at his sweatpants and shuddering.

We headed straight for the men's department at Belk's, picking through the dressier stuff. I figured keeping it simple was the best option; no over-the-top ties or bright colors. Jake found a nice gray dress shirt, approximately sized, and I found a long black blazer. We herded Richtofen into the fitting rooms where, after an excruciating nine minutes of boycotting, he finally tried them on.

"Well?" asked Jake. From my spot just outside, I could see him standing in front of the doctor's cubicle, raising his eyebrows.

There was a long moment of silence.

Then, finally, he spoke. "Zhis is acceptable. But ze shirt is tight."

Jake dashed out to get a bigger size, snatching up some slim-fit pants on the way back. "Here, try these, too," he said, tossing them over the door.

Another long silence as Richtofen hopefully did as he was told.

Then, irritated, "Zhese trousers are _unacceptable,_" he growled. "Zhey are so small und," he paused. "_Confining._"

"Too much information," I grumbled to myself.

Jake was back on the hunt. He pulled three more pairs of pants, a vest, and another shirt, for good measure. It was a struggle, but he finally found a fit. Then, going on that, Jake made a mini-wardrobe for Doctor Richtofen: Fitted black blazer, black vest, and two pairs of pants to match; then three different shirts to mix it up. One was gunmetal gray, another slate blue, and the third was a deep, silvery green.

Since Jake seemed excited about playing tailor, I let him. He was paying, anyway; less pressure on me. We stopped by the underwear to get a set of boxer-briefs, a few pairs of long black socks, and some undershirts. And then, most excruciating of all: The shoe department.

By the time we were done, I was exhausted; probably more exhausted than the doctor himself. I was definitely more exhausted than Jake. As we walked down the sidewalk, he chattered away, making it obvious that he was still pumped.

"I vant to vear my new clozhing," interrupted Richtofen, snatching the bags from Jake's arms.

I frowned. "Guess we better find a coffee shop or something where he can change," I muttered.

We headed for the local Starbucks, ushering Richtofen toward the restrooms. Luckily, it was handicapped-equipped, making it big enough inside for a tall, testy Nazi doctor to change clothes. I ordered a latte while we waited for him to come out, sitting with Jake at a window seat.

"I've had so much coffee today," I noted, sipping. "It's awesome."

Jake sighed. "Man, I'm so sick of coffee," he grumbled, running a hand through his sandy hair. "Never should've taken that job at the Bean."

"But they pay you decent, right?" I asked, concerned. "I mean, you've got great perks, from what I hear. I'm jealous."

He shrugged. "Yeah, but it sucks when something you love starts to annoy you. I can't even smell coffee now without getting stressed."

I reached over to rub his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jake," I murmured consolingly. "Maybe it'll get better.'

"I dunno," he muttered. "Guess I can hope."

"I enjoy zhis fabric," said the doctor, suddenly beside us. "It feels so _smooth._"

I turned to look.

My jaw dropped.

Holy _shit._ Talk about cleaning up nice. It was like looking at a European clothing ad. The blazer hung elegantly on Richtofen's broad shoulders, while the vest cinched tight around his chest like it was made for him. Underneath it all, he was wearing the gunmetal gray shirt, which was silvery in the dim light of the Starbucks.

I didn't dare look any lower. I could see the fit of his pants from the corner of my eye, and I didn't want to give him any material to harass me with later.

He ran long fingers through his dark hair, still slightly wavy from the way it dried, and arched a black eyebrow at me. "Acceptable, _ja?"_

My throat was oddly dry. I swallowed, not trusting myself to speak.

His green eyes glittered at me, missing absolutely nothing. As the slow, sinister grin spread across his lips, I felt myself start to panic. _Fuck._ So much for avoiding harassment.

"Vell, _zhis_ is certainly intereshting," he murmured, pulling up a chair. His eyes never left my face.

"You look good, man," said Jake, beaming, shamelessly proud of himself. "I knew I could dress you like a champ."

"Und how do _you _zhink I look, Kazhleen?" asked Richtofen, still staring at me. "Do I look _gut?_"

The corners of his lips quirked.

_Fuck my life._

"It's nice," I muttered, staring at my coffee as I lifted it back to my mouth. I took a sip, swallowed, and glanced back at him. I grimaced. "You look nice."

He made a noise of satisfaction.

"Jesus, Kitty," said Jake. "It's _that_ hard for you to give him a compliment?"

Without warning, I slammed my cup on the table. It was made of paper, so it wasn't threatening at all; but my glare felt terrifying enough to make up for it. "Jake, he's fucking Doctor _Richtofen,"_ I snapped, standing up and knocking over my chair. A couple of people stared at me. "This isn't a joke. This isn't some game." My heart was pounding. "You just played dress-up with a sadistic genius from _Nazi Germany_."

"Kitty," Jake muttered, glancing around the room. "People are looking at you."

The doctor just watched, fascinated.

I pursed my lips and grabbed my latte, glaring at the people closest to us. They looked down, pretending not to notice. Then I jerked away from the table, giving Richtofen's chair a wide berth. I could feel his eyes on my back as I stormed out of the Starbucks, breathing hard.

This wasn't okay. It just _wasn't._

My breath clouded in front of me as I stalked down the sidewalk, putting some space between myself and my strange new reality. Why did this have to happen to me? Wasn't life hard enough already? My eyes pricked with tears and I blinked them back, so frustrated I wanted to scream.

_Black Ops Zombies._ It was a goddamn videogame; a _mode_ in a videogame, with fictional characters and a ridiculous plot. It obviously wasn't real. But then, suddenly, it _was._ I managed to survive the zombies and make it home, only to have a nightmare follow me back.

But that wasn't what was bothering me. I'd already accepted the fact that he was stuck here, that I was stuck with the responsibility. No; something else was making me panic, frantic with terror and self-loathing. Something much worse.

My chest tightened against the cold but I kept walking, walking as fast as I could, trying to escape.

I knew it was no use. But the farther I walked, the longer I could avoid the truth.

Because no part of me wanted to admit that I'd just been attracted to the doctor._  
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**HURR HURR HURR ...**

Oh Kitty. Poor girl. I know it's gotta be hard to be attracted to a murderer. *sigh*

But for real real. Just think about how badass the Doc would look if he cleaned up and got all dressy. BADASS.

... ... ... badass I say ... ... ... !

... Not sure what's gonna happen next ...

But later ... Maybe Tank should somehow find his way to the future, too? ... :D?

KEEP THE SUGGESTIONS FLOWING! You guys have such great ideas! They inspire me so much! c':

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**Ze Doctor Says: "Zhis does not amuse me. MY VOICE IS NOT ZHAT HIGH-PITCHED. ... ... not _all_ ze time ..."**


	7. Not Friends

**HERE I AM GOING TO UPDATE THIS VERY QUICKLY BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND X.X**

... It's really short and I don't know if it's even good but BLAH I WANT TO KEEP WRITING THIS STORY SO I MUST UPDATE ITTTT

...

Okay, anyway: I've been so busy that I keep having to post chapters and run, but PLEASE remember:

YOUR REVIEWS MAKE ME WEEP WITH HAPPINESS. And I wouldn't know what to do with these stories if I didn't have your lovely feedback.

SO THANK YOU.

... oh, and please keep reviewing! c':

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**Between Two Realities**  
A "Between Dream and Reality" Spinoff

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CHAPTER SEVEN

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**nicht befreundet**  
"Not Friends"

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"Dude, what are you doing out here? It's freezing!"

It was Jake. He came and sat down beside me, taking the empty half of the bench outside the jewelry store.

I nestled deeper into my sweater, shrugging. "Just needed to be alone for a little while."

Jake was quiet, digesting that information. "You know, you're probably sick of me saying this today… But I got your back, Kitty."

I chuckled. "Yeah, I know. Thanks." I glanced down the walkway, frowning. "Did you just leave him back there?"

"Figured he'd follow me," Jake said, following the line of my eyes.

Right on cue, a tall man lurked out of the Starbucks, his skinny silhouette slithering out onto the sidewalk.

"Speak of the devil," I grumbled.

Richtofen glanced one way, then another; then finally his eyes found mine. I could see his distant scowl, inching closer as he stalked in our direction. He was carrying the bags from the department store.

"I can't remember what life was even _like_ without that face glaring at me all the time," I muttered, pursing my lips.

Jake chuckled. "I think he does it 'cause he likes you."

My heart stuttered and then dropped to my stomach. "What?" I stammered. Catching myself, I tried again. "That's fucking ridiculous."

Jake shrugged. "I'm a dude. I've seen it happen. That's all I'm sayin'."

I scowled at him.

"Vhy did you leave me in zhat _disgusting _café?" hissed Richtofen, shoving the bags at my feet.

I stared down in shock. "Why are you sticking _me_ with those?" I snapped, glaring up at him.

He glared right back.

"Alright, guys," said Jake, raising his hands. "No lovers' quarrels in front of me please."

Richtofen ignored him. "I'm in your _care _now, Kazhleen," he snarled sarcastically, quirking a brow. _"Ja?_ Und so I entrust zhis to you. However incapable you may be of such a thing."

Blood rushed hot to my cheeks. "What?" I shrieked. "_Incapable?_ What the hell does _that _mean?"

Jake tried to interrupt, but the doctor beat him to the punch. "You don't seem like ze domestic type," he spat, grinning humorlessly. "As in you seem quite _lacking _in ze skills necessary to take care of anozher human being."

"I know what you were getting at, _Richtofen,_" I gritted. "God. You're such an _asshole._"

His eyes widened, almost like he was affronted.

"Yeah, I said it," I continued, raising my eyebrows at him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jake get to his feet. "Uh, I think I'll just leave you guys to deal with this on your own," he muttered, hesitating a moment before he started off down the walkway. I'd never seen him walk so fast in my life.

"Hey," I shouted, scowling at his back. "I drove you here!"

"I can walk home," he yelled, moving quicker.

I opened my mouth to say something else, but was cut off by the doctor.

"Vell, vell, vell," he murmured, taking Jake's seat. I leaned away from him. "Looks like ve are alone now."

I groaned. My lips hurt from frowning. "You're so _irritating," _I spat, avoiding his eyes.

He moved closer to me.

I leapt up from the bench like it was on fire, twisting around to glare at him.

He smirked.

"So _jumpy," _he observed, his voice sinister.

"Shut up," I hissed, walking over to a nearby trash bin. I leaned against it, trying to gather my thoughts.

What good was it for us to be left alone like this anyway? I guessed Jake was going back to his apartment, but when did we follow? Richtofen was staying there, after all … and for that matter, so was I. I groaned, brushing nervous fingers through my hair.

"Somezhing on your mind?" smirked the doctor, leaning back against the bench. His legs sprawled into a more relaxed position, and he looked up at me through his lashes. I realized I was staring at his long, wiry thighs, watching the way the smooth fabric of his pants clung to his lean muscles.

The smirk on his lips widened, leaving me with the horrifying knowledge that he'd noticed.

"I'm trying to figure out why Jake left us," I snapped, staring at the cuff of my sweater with exaggerated interest. "What the hell was he trying to accomplish?"

"I believe he vanted us to sort through our _differences," _Richtofen suggested. The sound of his dark voice drew my attention back to him, and I noticed that his eyes were still fixed on my face. They smoldered up at me, bright green and menacing.

"Well, that's not gonna happen," I muttered, my throat strangely dry. I said it without thinking. "Why am I so fucking _thirsty_?"

His smirk turned wicked, making his eyes glitter. I watched as he unfolded his long body from the bench, rising to tower over me. I could smell the department store wafting from his new clothes, mixed with something bitter and musky sweet. "Perhaps our differences vould be easier to sort over a _drink,_" he said, his voice terrifying and quiet. He reached long arms down to pick up his bags.

I was surprised. "Not gonna make me carry those?" I tried to sound annoyed, but my surprise was more obvious.

"I thought zhis vas vhat you _vanted,_"he spat back, frowning down at me.

I shut my mouth and stared at him for a moment longer. Then I wet my lips. "I don't want a drink," I muttered, wincing at the sound of my own voice. I was pouting like a baby. "I just want to get out of here. Go somewhere else. Somewhere I can think."

The doctor sighed. "Und vhere vould _zhat_ be?" he grumbled, pressing his lips together.

"I don't know," I hissed, trying to think. Where was somewhere I could go? _We_ could go?

_If only I didn't have to baby-sit a grown man …_

And that's when it hit me.

The park.

"Come on," I muttered, grabbing his arm._  
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**YAY UPDATE!**

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NEED MORE SUGGESTIONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! You guys have the best ideas :'3

... but to be honest, I think ... uh ... I want to write something fluffy and/or sexy again soon ...

... and I think it's gonna happen in this story ... x.x

.

FORGIVE MEEE

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**Ze Doctor Says: "... ZHIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. _NEIN. _I VILL NOT BE PORTRAYED AS SHEXY. ... Unless you review ... ... "**


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